Viv & Bev
A colleague writes from Des Moines, Iowa:
Viv and Bev told their husbands they needed to get away for a while to work on their beauty regimens. They said they’d entered each other as contestants in the Miss Uppish County Beauty Pageant.
Neither Bob nor Frank bothered to check whether the event, or the location, existed.
Bob, a sales agent for a multinational chemical firm specialized in pesticides and fertilizers, was getting all the action he could handle from his red-headed secretary. Frank, a dealer in reconditioned heavy farm machinery, was an obsessive bird-watcher.
Their wives rode out of town on the Super Chief.
The Imperial Health Resort was a handsome piece of Plains architecture, with swimming pool, tennis courts, golf links and stables. Guests had to sign a form that released Management from responsibility in case of mishap, but the Staff included a licensed paramedic permanently on duty.
“Dr.” Archie, a Conscious Objector, had served as a stretcher-bearer in Korea. He liberally dispensed diet pills, and painlessly put wrenched limbs back in place. Next door to his infirmary was the “fainting room”. Doc Archie closed an eye if pairs of Imperial guests needed a discreet place to faint for a while. He collected generous tips, and did even better with the pictures he snapped through the fainting room’s two-way mirror. Collectors in Europe and Japan said Dr. Archie was better than Picasso.
Viv and Bev were his masterpiece.
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Viv & Bev
Un collega ci scrive dall’Iowa, Stati Uniti:
Viv e Bev raccontarono ai loro mariti di aver bisogno di una vacanza per ampliare i loro regimi di bellezza. Si erano candidate a vicenda al Concorso “Miss Imperiosa”.
Né Bob né Frank controllarono per vedere se la gara esisteva davvero.
Bob, rappresentante presso una multinazionale specializzata in pesticidi, si trombava la segretaria dai capelli rossi. Frank, che vendeva macchinari per l’agricoltura, era un ornitologo ossessivo.
Le loro mogli partirono in treno.
L’imponente Imperial Health Resort disponeva di piscine, campi da tennis e golf, e una scuderia. Gli ospiti dovevano firmare un modulo che scagionava la gestione in caso di infortunio, ma c’era comunque un addetto medico di servizio.
Dottor Archie viveva praticamente all’Imperial Health Resort. Era generoso con le pillole dimagranti ed era bravo a rimettere a posto giunture lussate. Accanto all’infermeria c’era la famosa saletta di rianimazione. Dottor Archie chiudeva un occhio se coppie di ospiti vi si volevano appartare. Riscuoteva laute mance, e guadagnava soldi a palate con le foto che scattava attraverso lo specchio a due vie della cameretta. Secondo certi collezionisti in Europa e Giappone, Archie era meglio di Picasso.
Viv e Bev furono il suo capolavoro.
